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Sunday, October 26, 2008

Dreading it : (

I am sick to my stomach thinking that tomorrow Hunter and I will be separated for the first time in our lives. My bag is ready for school and Hunter's is ready for the sitter's house, complete with diapers, formula, extra clothes, wipes, bottles, and anything I think he will need. I am sad each time I walk by the door to the garage and see our bags sitting there.
I am dreading going back to work. It sucks that I can't stay home with him. I miss teaching and all that goes with it (well, most of it anyway), I really do, but who wouldn't want to stay home with that precious face?
I know he will be taken good care of. I don't worry about that at all.
But will he know I am gone? Will he know the sitter isn't me? Will I be able to make it through the day without crying at the drop of a hat? I would like to think the answers to the first 2 questions is Yes and I am sure the anwer to the last question is NO.
I know I am not the first mother to have to leave her child. But this is a first for me........ leaving a child I never thought I would have.
As much as I am dreading leaving Hunter, I am excited at the thought of picking him up after school and smothering him with all the kisses we missed during the day. That thought will undoubtedly carry me through what will most likely be one of the hardest days of my life.

4 comments:

Kathy said...

I know how strong you are and that it will indeed be really hard. Trust me, that boy knows who his momma is. Have no doubts about that.

I will be thinking about you!!

Love you all..

Anonymous said...

Hunter knows your touch,your smell, your voice...he will know the difference. Hopefully, he will like the sitter, but he LOVES his mommy! I am sure you will both do just fine! You are a great mom AND a great teacher. You will be in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow. Love, Mom

MomToHunter said...

Thank you Mom and Kathy....... I am sitting here typing and tearing up while Hunter hiccups and smiles at me. My heart is aching, but I know I have to do it.

Love you

Anonymous said...

Hey..This is my 1st visit here. I am a home child care provider in my area and believe me I see moms all the time worried sick but fortunately I am one of the child care providers that actually love the children I keep and therefore having long everlasting bond with them...Hunter will do fine but poor mom, you might need a few kleenex the 1st week..

((HUGS))
Love, Marci